The Practical Value Of Being Gentle With Yourself
Most people are their own biggest critics. Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean their criticism is necessarily true and factual. It’s very easy to be dismissive of yourself for issues you consider a priority – perhaps being slightly overweight or not having perfect physical features – while also ignoring or not being aware of issues you could change, such as a short temper or lack of patience with other people.
In other words, sometimes being our own biggest critic gets in our way. What if you suspended that criticism for a while? This isn’t to say that you immediately assume you’re perfect and above reproach, only that in order to improve, to be better, and to live more healthily, you don’t have to disparage yourself quite so much.
The gentle approach to living is a healthy alternative to this. It means that if we’re not perfect, we don’t dismiss ourselves. It means if we make slow progress towards a goal, we accept that we’re still making progress. It also means that by judging others less, we learn to judge ourselves less harshly, and vice versa.
Why don’t we explore some of that below? Without further ado, please consider:
Going With The Flow
Most people work intensely during the week, and even the weekend on their own responsibilities, and that can lead us into a pretty strict routine. But going with the flow doesn’t mean abandoning all this, nor being too passive. It’s mostly about adjusting your cause when you can, accepting unexpected outcomes, and taking them in your stride. If you can do this, life feels lighter, but it takes a little time to get there.
The first step is to get used to flexibility, you allow yourself the space to grow and learn from each situation without being burdened by the constant pressure of self-criticism. So if you tell a joke in the office and it doesn’t land, you don’t have to ruminate on it. Just accept it didn’t land, it doesn’t define you, and move on. Slowly developing this attitude can make you more of an open-minded, considered person who allows some of the small difficulties of life to flow past them. It also means you’ll be more receptive to what you can change, as well as the good in life.
Allowing Yourself Off Days
With that prior point in mind, remember that no one can be at their best every single day. We all have those off days where motivation is low. These moments are natural and don’t reflect a failure on your part. However, if you’re overly self-critical, you might find yourself spiralling into negative thoughts, questioning your abilities, or feeling guilty about not being productive.
For example, if you really feel lethargic, getting more sleep instead of heading to the gym tonight could be a good alternative. It doesn’t mean you’re lazy or have given up on your goals. It just means you’ve rested when you most needed it. This kind of realistic approach is at the heart of self-care, and is more than worth focusing on.
Asking For Help When You Need It
It’s good and healthy to ask for help when you need it. Sometimes, you can make difficulties easier for yourself by not doing everything manually. For example, if you’re in recovery, then a service such as https://addictionsuk.com can actually come to you instead of putting up in a facility for a while. Maybe this can help inspire you to take that first step without worrying too much about it.
Asking for help when you need it can also help you avoid feeling ashamed of a life difficulty. You’ll be gentle enough to be honest. Maybe you’ve been struggling with depression and letting your partner and friends know can help them help you in the meantime, while you slowly start to focus on rebuilding your motivation and adapting to a new medication. Asking for help is heartfelt, and defines you as strong and willing. It’ll make a big difference in how you perceive your own troubles because even in matters of self-harm like addiction, you have nothing to be ashamed of and plenty of potential to enjoy.
Following The Gentle Way
How “the gentle way” goes is up to you. A good place to start is to focus on. How you talk to yourself. Listen to the inner dialogue that plays out in your mind – are you quick to criticize or judge yourself way too harshly? If so, try to replace those thoughts with more supportive and understanding ones. For example, instead of thinking, “I’m terrible at this,” try, “I’m learning, and it’s okay to take time.” If you wouldn’t speak to a friend as you do to yourself, then that’s a good sign things need to change.
With this advice, we hope you can see the practical value of being gentle with yourself. It’s the least you deserve.
